Attachment between a parent and child
is life's primary connection. It has exceedingly important implications
for the child's future. A secure attachment facilitates a child's
physical, behavioral, cognitive, and emotional development, and
is an essential factor in learning how to love and trust others
and oneself.
There is evidence that the bonding process begins in utero, during the nine month period the child is developing in his birth mother. The attachment process continues during the subsequent 24-36 months, as the child expresses his physical and emotional needs for nurture, which are met by his mother. The child begins to develop a feeling of trust that he will be taken care of, and that the world is a safe place.
If this reciprocal process is disrupted, an attachment impairment may develop. Multiple traumas compound the problem, which can impact a child's ability to trust and attach. Indicators for children-at-risk include:
For many children, their pre-adoptive traumas have left them unable to trust that the adults in their lives will care for them, keep them safe, and not abandon them. Yet in order for an adopted child to attach, not only does he need parents who will give him love, but he needs to be able to accept that love which he cannot do if he cannot trust. This inability to trust leads children with an attachment impairment to display an excessive desire to control others and their environment. They may have rageful tantrums, avoid affection except on their own terms, have poor eye contact, be exceedingly charming to the public yet especially difficult at home. They may be clingy and demanding of attention, chatter excessively, have difficulty sleeping and have abnormal eating habits.
Unfortunately these symptoms may mimic or overlap those of other disorders such as ADHD, Bi-polar Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) or Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), leading to frequent misdiagnosis and failed treatments. Worse, parents may be blamed for inadequate parenting skills or over reacting.
For more information about attachment and trauma, click below to visit the Attach-China / International Parent's Network website:
